2009 | film | Kristen Stewart | review | Robert Pattinson | T | The Twilight Saga: New Moon | Twilight
Kill Me Now Spock
Directed by CHRIS WEITZ
Starring KRISTEN STEWART, ROBERT PATTINSON, and TAYLOR LAUTNER
I preface this review with full disclosure that I am biased. I hate these movies, but my younger sister wanted to see this drudge so I went. I despise this franchise with a passionate disdain.
**Warning Spoilers** – Edward (Robert Pattinson) the vampire meets Bella (Kristen Stewart) in previous film, Edward and Bella start dating, Bella gets a minor cut in front of vampire’s family. One of vampire’s family members goes crazy and wants to eat her. Thus begins the drama of ‘New Moon.’ Edward breaks off the relationship because he doesn’t want Bella to get hurt.
Now, I know breaking up is hard to do, but Bella goes a little crazy. She finds solace in Jacob (Taylor Lautner), aka werewolf boy, who is cute as a button. She finds out that he’s a werewolf and tries to get over her vampire lost love. Bella uses the werewolf boy shamelessly. She doesn’t even give the poor boy a kiss whilst waiting for Edward. Then vampire boy and Bella are eventually reunited. That’s it. Now save your $8 and stay home.
Now, I know breaking up is hard to do, but Bella goes a little crazy. She finds solace in Jacob (Taylor Lautner), aka werewolf boy, who is cute as a button. She finds out that he’s a werewolf and tries to get over her vampire lost love. Bella uses the werewolf boy shamelessly. She doesn’t even give the poor boy a kiss whilst waiting for Edward. Then vampire boy and Bella are eventually reunited. That’s it. Now save your $8 and stay home.
Admittedly, Robert Pattinson has some sort of je nais se quois about him. He’s interesting and I can understand why leagues of young girls swoon, but besides that, the story sucks. Ultimately, the writer, Stephanie Meyer is no Anne Rice. In fact, she’s painfully boring.
Recommendation: Skip it. Leave it to the young and hardy.
ONE – 1/2 STARS OUT OF FIVE
What struck me the most about this were the legions of middle aged women lining up to lust after a teenage boy who walked around shirtless.
If the same number of men my age lined up to lust after, say, [I'm drawing a blank on a teen actress of the same 16-17 age group] who was dressed in a white shirt with no bra, the men would be absolutely killed in the media for "sexualizing" a "young girl" no matter how physically mature she actually was.